You Gotta Belize It

Sharing Hearts

This evening, I sat with a new Belizean friend who has lovingly accepted me into her world.  She is a faithful servant of the King, who shared some of her struggles with me.  During our conversation, she shared that she was choosing to avoid church this evening because she didn't want to be fake.  She is struggling with a number of issues and knew that her church family would caringly ask her how she was doing. She knew she would tell them that she was fine, even though that was not the whole truth.  She wants to be fine and knows that her church friends want to be supportive, but the timing of sharing was not right and she just didn't want to put on an act. 

I was honored that she was willing to share a bit with me but as I returned home this evening, I kept thinking about her struggle to attend services with her husband and children.  By the way, her struggle was not with him!  This made me think about my own hesitancy to share my struggles with my friends.  Like this kind woman, I choose not to share my struggles with people as I do not want to be a burden to them.  I do not want to be a "Debbie Downer".  But, really, am I just being unfair to my friends?  Am I selling them short?

What really makes a friendship real?  How does one deepen friendships, if we are only willing to share parts of ourselves?  Do our friends only want to be our "good time friends" or are real friendships a balance of fun and sharing of our deeper hearts?

I think that I am selling some of friends short.  I am not trusting that they care enough about me that they want to support me through my lonelier moments or the challenges of my life. I see myself as someone who wants to support my friends but I am unwilling to let them have that opportunity.  The truth is, I didn't have any sage advice for my friend and you know what, she didn't necessarily want me to solve her problems.  But she gave me the privilege of hearing her share her heart and the privilege of being able to encourage her and let her know that I cared.  I felt that she gave me the gift of deepening friendship.

So tonight as I write this, I have learned an important lesson.  Sharing my burdens with those that I care about doesn't have to be a burden to them, but it might actually be a gift of trust!